it was this copper light drizzle
sinking in our pupils
(suffocating in each others’)
turning everything into
yearn, dream and typhlosis.
ah I could have begged
I could have crawled
and ripped my senses
(purpose, reason and despair)
and howl to this atrocious god.
he still wouldn’t even look at
still would even mutter
about all this yearn, dream and typhlosis.
i thought you could see past my skin
and guess my raspberry bones
i thought you could see all the diamonds
but never stared at anything else but at worms
She would never change, but one day at the touch of a fingertip she would fall to dust.
Simone de Beauvoir, The Mandarins
Without ever letting go I knew you’d gone astray
Stranded here in this cold atmosphere.
there are times when you don’t
and so you are
diving deeper and deeper into your world
where the buildings are made out of foam, clouds out of sorrow and eyes out of shiny little
there are times when you just don’t
manage to come back home
but you continue to crawl
in your anger well
and spit your desperation to others
there are sad times.
Your absence makes my soul
wintry in the midsummer